There’s no room for debate here. John Carter is going to bomb this weekend at the box office. The movie will be a big pile of shit. Disney executives that were a part of the discussions that lead to a $300 million investment in a movie…a fucking movie with a story that nobody is familiar with because nobody reads in this country…will be fired on Monday.
The Disney marketing department should get canned the hardest. Why? Because they’re trying to hide the true costs of the film. They’re lowballing themselves by tens of millions of dollars when really they should be embracing it with swagger typically reserved for rappers.
Instead of being embarrassed by the cost of the movie they should rub everyone’s nose in it. That means the flashy jewelry should come out inside an elegant bedroom with a cheetah rug and…and…shark tanks! The advertising campaign would be more effective if it looked something like this…
American consumers are funny. Although we claim to be disgusted by ostentatious displays of wealth we can’t help but be utterly intrigued by them. That’s why “MTV Cribs” does so well. Disney marketing executives could learn a thing or two from this truth if they acted more like rappers…not only bragging about the cost but exaggerating it and throwing it in everyone’s face. Using a hackneyed term like “epic” to describe an expensive yet meager movie certainly does not accomplish this…
